Yeahhhhh.. I've got some thoughts. And leaving has crossed my mind.
I'm still a little pissed about a few things that have been going on around me lately. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not bothering with any more new groups or contests or what ever else falls into that category aside from the groups I'm still currently in. Though those are starting to become questionable.
lately I've been wondering why I'm still in some of the groups I'm currently apart of. I know why I joined them but most of the ones I had joined then are not what they were and have become groups that the admins have either changed to someone else or have just given up on the group entirely.. Which does suck because that it about the same as closing it. everything stops and it's like your not even apart of it anymore even though you are. I'm starting to notice a pattern with groups now. people start them thinking "oh this will be easy" and they get started and then a few assholes show up and just about ruin it for everyone. OR the one I see the most; which is in my case as well; the admins get bored of the group and just decided to leave it be. I understand that it comes down to the problem that life likes to throw curve balls at you and makes it a living hell for you to fix this problem and those people have a very good reason to why their groups stop suddenly but, there has to be ways for people to help them with their group when things get back or even just give the members a heads up that things are going bad and the groups going to die. Doesn't that work? Be nice if it did but I know it's not that easy. I've seen it. I've had these things I'm complaining about happen to me and I can see why people are now leaving devantART. I've had to cross my mind a few times this week looking back at the groups I've made and seeing just how much of a problem I've managed to drop in my lap.
Going on about what I don't like seems to be a thing I do a lot. Contests. There is another thing I wonder why i will join into. I know the reason I give my self it because it could turn out fun to see yourself featured by other drawing your characters or even something for you because the Tournaments I join give me that same feeling of poudness to what I made for a character. Mind you the ones I make are never all that simple and not easy for most to draw because of the detail I put into my own characters, but. There is always this feeling of why do I put myself through this happy and proud state only for me to be torn apart by the people that are just plan assholes to me or anyone else they come across. I can understand people having bad days but what is the point of making these contests or tournaments of the people that make them don't give back good and bad feed back about what work you've done or how your doing. Those things are extremely helpful to artists and it is slowly disappearing in this world. No one seems to see it as much now. I know my generation asks for this judgement from others. it makes up stronger. it helps us. But if you looked to someone that was about 3 years younger them be and told them that they could do to improve, it's like you just tore a part of their heart away. I'm not all that old myself. I'm 21 years old. And from what I've got to see so far on this site just proves why so many stop drawing, stop making things or even do what I'm doing now and wondering why they even bother. I know people are ass holes and I know full well that if I looked some of the idiots in the face and trying to get them to tell me what they say to me on the computer most would turn and run from me. I'm not a very big woman I'm pretty small. But with how I am. What I type is exactly how I feel. it is how i act and is how I am in real life. I'm pretty sure that a good portion of the people that think are my friends don't act the same in person as they do on the computer. Gladly I do have some friends I got from dA that are the best bunch of friends I've ever had. They turned out to be even better then the friends I had in high school. And that says something. And I know if they read this journal they will know who they are. It's funny how that turned out. My closest friends, are not even in Canada or live remotely close to me.
Here is another thing that I've come to see though through the 6 years I've been on deviantART, Trolls, are not as bad as everyone thinks they are. They are just really bored people. And the people to look or for, are the ones that would rather just fight with you about nothing and decide that you are their friend because you draw for them. It's funny. If you want to test if your friends you have are real friends. Talk to them about anything and see what they do. I find it amusing now just how people act on here. I'm pretty sure that is one of the few reasons I'm still on dA. Just to see how many of these people that call themselves my friends really are. The people that comment when you post something about yourself. The people that help you when your having a hard time through something. Or the people that just decided it is a good time to come and just chat because they can. Those are good friends. Those are the people everyone wants to have but not everyone can find.
You know. I'm glad I live where I am. it's not perfect because I don't have the one things I need but it works for now. And my reasoning is.. if I got to meet these people that like to tear people apart and decided that they are to good to even give some helpful feed back, I might just decide that being violent is a good option. I really have had enough if this and you know.. I refuse to join anymore contests and tournaments or even other groups for now. There are more bored ass holes on this site now that it makes it near impossible to even post things for them. I've gotten to a point in my life that my art is key for me. I need to to do what I want to do for the rest of my life. I might not even have to time anymore to really do anything else now. I did ask one day if everyone would like to see the work I do and you know what? I'm working towards posting some of that work for everyone now. I wanna see who really is paying attention to my work anymore. it's nice to know when it works and it is even better then there is a reason behind why I'm doing this. so. I'm putting down my tablet and pen for now. I don't know if I'll be posting anymore here. But I will show you what I've been working so hard on.
Look for the end of march. My ceramics will be coming soon to deviantART.
If I don't leave here first that is.
-- Noir out.